Shutdowns, Breakdowns and Meltdowns (Part 1)

Peace all, Writing this blog from a personal standpoint can be therapeutic at times, and sometimes it can become more of a hindrance than good. It really depends on the mood that I'm in, which has been shifting constantly in the past few months. What started out as good and promising has turned completely upside down, and my mood changes have become more obvious than ever, and so has my language. Obviously something is not the same with me. Right now I'm sitting on the floor of the library, which has now become a familiar spot with me, multitasking as usual, not being able to get a single task done. I used to think that my lack of concentration or lack of focusing on getting one task done was due to my scatterbug nature. That was until a couple of weeks ago I was looking up an issue on the interest regarding depression and anxiety. Once I read the symptoms, I stopped wondering about the other person and started looking at myself. It's no secret that I've suffered from depression, especially when one reads previous posts I've written in the past, especially in regards to some of the escapades I've experienced in the high stress call center environment, however I did not realize what I was doing was due to a depressing state. I thought I had it managed pretty well ya know? Whenever I became depressed I would find myself walking throughout the neighborhood, sometimes equipped with my headphones and MP3 player and sometimes not, only to come back home somewhat refreshed, but it's reached epic proportions now. It came to a head this past July while doing contract work for a company. I was helping to move computers and networking hardware, not harming anyone at anytime, thinking that after working a couple of weeks here I could earn a nice amount of money to hold me down until something more permanent or more lasting comes along. Things didn't look so promising after the first couple of days as the two men who headed the project were behind in their duties, leaving the contractors with very little to do the first couple of days, so we were made to leave early. On the following Wednesday, I received word that my services would no longer be needed, as I was told that a couple of people complained about me, but he would not go into detail about the nature of the complaint. In reality he didn't have to, I've been discriminated and profiled against too many times to act like I don't know the reasons why I'm being treated in such fashion. The funny thing was although I was told some people complained against me, the agency I worked for was not told such things, only don't send me back to the site. I immediatedly told the recruiter what I feel was the issue, and I explained that I'm Muslim and I do have a full beard, but that in no way has been or will be a detriment to my work ethic or my reputation as a honest, law abiding citizen. Being African American and Muslim has given me the upclose opportunity to see first hand how ignorance and racism has and will continue to pull this country down, while it's citizens point fingers everywhere except the right places to hold the right people accountable, meanwhile people from different ethnic and religious backgrounds continue to suffer at the hands of someone else's stupidity. It hasn't stopped there. This discrimination has taken on new forms, such as an agency calling me a couple of weeks inquiring, or should I say profiling me about a position I had applied for. The recruiter seemed pleased with my resume, and then came the questions. NOPE, no felonies, no default on a college loan(although I fail to see how this should affect my status as one who is capable of troubleshooting computer equipment in the first place), no bad credit, except in the area of having a car repossessed three years ago, as a result of losing my job, making me unable to continue to pay on my car...so poverty becomes a punishment now huh? So now poverty is a character flaw instead of a socio-economic issue huh? One that renders the person into a caste of those who can't cut it? So much for the land of opportunity, huh? And they wonder why people go illegal? Matter of fact, I don't even think they even wonder about that, especially when conditions are created by these scavengers and parasites that leave those on the outskirts of society, scrappin' and scrapin' just trying to break even...They just feign concern...they don't really care... I'll continue this later....Peace out....www.qartworks.com

Stand Your Ground Marissa Alexander: Congressman Corrine Brown on Marissa Alexander (Ja...

Peace all, have other blogs in mind, but there are times when art really doesn't matter. This incident, along with Kenneth Chamberlain, has not received near the same attention as Trayvon Martin, but has as much importance, due to the cruelty of this justice system, which will refuse to allow a pregnant woman to defend herself from abuse, or possibly worse scenarios. Such are the Lifestyles of the Ignored. Hope to be back soon...Please read.

Stand Your Ground Marissa Alexander: Congressman Corrine Brown on Marissa Alexander (Ja...: Congresswoman Corrine Brown Deplores Marissa Alexander Ruling (Washington, DC) Congresswoman Brown made the following statement: Earlier...

Dining With The Wretched

Peace all,

Pardon the lack of blogging here, but I've been busying coming up with a theme for the next possible exhibit...One thing for sure, it won't be called Back and Forth as first imagined, but it appears to be something much more special, and I will fill you in on the details ASAP. The past couple of weeks have been emotionally draining on me after a couple of incidents that I've experienced, mainly regarding actions, reactions and responses from people that I've respected or had long friendships with. I've come to realize that it's not an issue of whether or not my friends agree with me, for I have friends both on and offline from different walks of life, but rather or not are you seeing what I'm seeing? I become more convinced by the moment that someone else is shaping or reshaping our beliefs and thought patterns, and it ain't God for sure. A couple of people that I would imagine would have more compassion and understanding about the plight of the poor and downtrodden have exposed some very peculiar beliefs, and after attempt to reason with them have given me very different ideas about their way of thinking. One such person who has faced discrimination and injustice for the past 10 years for issues that he has either had resurfaced unjustly or from paid his debt to society open proclaims that injustice is not an issue worth concerning with as long as he has the opportunity to get employment. This type of apathy that comes from people who have experienced some sort of injustice from this cruel and hypocritical society shows just how sad the state of humanity has deteriorated, where one is only concerned about themselves, and even moreso will judge others who may experiences the same cruelty by different standards.

In any event, it is sad to see the masses of people who are of the poor, downtrodden, or even the middle class hold themselves to such hypocritical standards, and allow the immaculately rich, oppressive and greedy few of this planet to dictate, incriminate, discriminate and exploit them all because some evil person supports the stupid notion that "if you're so smart, how come you're not rich?" when the real question is how can you possibly amass so much money? This past week we've witnessed a few of the old racist, slave states come back with discriminatory measures against the poor and people of color, and call it "welfare reform", yet the actions of the wealthy against the poor in America still go unchecked, underexposed, and no accountability is held against these internal crooks. But I'm supposed to be happy the Bin Laden and Anwar Al-Awlaki are no longer living. Yeah right.

I just finished watching this movie entitled Fierce People, a movie about the wealthy and influential and the mirage of peace and tranquility that is giving simply because one is wealthy. The special features section has the actors giving insight on the movie, and one of the directors of the film mentioned that America does have a ruling class despite the claims of Democracy, and that these exorbiant amounts of wealth are not accrued by so-called hard working people, but through inhumane and brutal measures, but an increasing amount of the exploited don't really see the problem with this, as long as they are gettting a crumb or two...Little do they know that this life is not about accruing wealth....

Stay tuned people...It get's more interesting....Peace!