Well it's 12:42 pm, and my toes are freezing! Sitting on the floor on a Sunday January Morning watching old Andy Griffith reruns, thinking back to days where old shows like this were not placed on a DVD and/or placed in the back of the cable tv lineup...Quality entertainment, and I still find myself laughing at Otis and Barney...Some people think this reveals my age, although I disagree. Some people just are not into being bombarded with the sexual uninhibited, free floating so called contemporary entertainment. I remember in 2006 I met a young lady at my job who loved 50's music, and had a serious collection of old hits, although she was only 26 at the time...Some people just look for quality.
Anyway, good news on the homefront. After all of that worrying about losing the opportunity to gain employment, I went into the office Friday, took the test, and was able to pass, and so now my start date will be January 31st. That gives me one more week of freedom.
But who has freedom when you are an artist? I mean c'mon! As far as I am concerned I am very far behind on things I wanted to accomplish, and now I only have 7 days to show that my time off from work was not a total waste of time.
I admit I became very distracted and very depressed when things did not take shape like I wanted to last year. I began to look for instant comfort in food and online friends. I lost focus and plenty of times I wanted to chuck it in. Even at this moment I feel I am embattled, and it just gets tiring. Nothing seems to go right. This past fall a fellow artist and Facebook friend from across the seas agreed to do a swap with me. She did a beautiful painting of two Kenyan women and agreed to swap with me for one of my bags. She sent the picture via regular parcel December 9 and it has yet to arrive. We've been trying to find some information on the package, but to no avail. Very depressing for me.
I keep trying to convince myself something better is on the way, but it gets hard. It's hard for me to keep going sometimes for fear that I'm going to start all over again, and it just gets tiring. I can relate to the Roots song "Rising Down" where he says, "Yo I ain't trying to floss, yo I lost my passion, and I ain't trying to climb I done lost my passion" and "My contents Under pressure do not shake!"
I'm not complaining at all, I'm just telling it like it is. Sometimes if you don't share your feelings, your feelings will eat you up, so I put it in forms of poetry, art or blog.
I have done a couple of videos and hope to finish another one for an interview I have with a writer friend of mine, and I have plans to contact the director for the Stewpot, a collection of artists who sell their art, and give some of the proceeds to help the homeless. I hope to get some positive feedback from that.
Sabrun Jamil...
I'll keep you posted...Love y'all...Take Care.
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