Sunday, October 17, 2010

...Quandry (Black Haunting)

Peace all,

Sometimes being a clutterbug(such as me!!!) has it's downers. Take today for instance. After feeling good about labelling my next project Black Haunting, some of the ideas I have for the project spurred into another direction, and ANOTHER project came about, one I'm thinking of entitling What Was It All For Anyway? I think both of these will really be interesting in scope and range, as well as content, and I'm sure it will be one that not too many people would want to talk about initially. But that's me right? Always into something, always causing trouble...Tee hee hee!!!

I am in my best mood right now after recovering from what looked like a down point in my life. Missing the exhibit, The Lost Ones, one that Joanna worked so hard in getting to happen, and one that I wanted to participate so badly made me take a hard look into wondering if I should continue on. But even more sad were the incidents that took place which resulted in my abscence. I usually don't place my personal feelings and incidents online, however I feel this one needed to be stated in order for me to move on with my life.

Two weeks before the exhibit my car was repossessed for late payments. I had been searching for ways to pay for the car as well as looking for a job after leaving my last job, (an issue which some people are still trying to second guess to this day) but was unable to come up with any solution. I went through several ordeals to get this car, and to find out it was taken away really hurt me. I had left some personal belongings and some clothes in the car at the time it was repossessed. In order to retrieve those items I had to borrow my mother's car, drive 60 miles out of Dallas and back to retrieve my belongings.

I tried to look for employment opportunities to keep the car and my personal finances in good standing, but nothing happened. I searched and prayed for relief and kept toiling about. Finally I asked some relatives(who are very able mind you) to front me a loan until I can get back on my feet in order to redeem the car and to help with some basic needs. At first I was told that the check would be in the mail and I would get it the next day. I cried and thanked God(Allah) thinking this would save my car, and help with some basic needs until I can get back on my feet.

A couple of hours later I received a call from their son pretending to ask questions about what happened at my previous jobs, why I left those jobs or was fired, and what the future hold for me(which only God can answer that). He says we was trying to help me find some work or some leads, as if he was sincere. I honestly told him what happened and my aspirations for doing my own thing as well. The very next day I received a package with some old dates and a printout of a narration from Prophet Muhammad(S) about how the person's sustenance was written in the womb of the mother 120 days after conception and NO CHECK. This statement is true, but the circumstances behind why this happened are fishy. The rest of the story is too hard to tell, and too hard to think about.

In any case I lost my car, among other things, and now I am somewhat starting from scratch, but I have not lost my zeal and my drive in any way. Actually many of the current events are the catalyst for my newest projects. And these trials that I go through make me stronger for handling bigger problems that may come my way in the future.

Keep moving forward...

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