A Glimpse Of My Art (The L.O.T.E Tree)

Been a long time since I've posted here. As Yasiin Bey (fka Mos Def) said on his "Black On Both Sides" debut album, a lot of things have changed, a lot of things have not. Also been a long time since I've touched a brush, marker, or anything art-related. Lonnie Ali, the widow of the late Muhammad Ali (RA) said Parkinson's Disease robs you of your confidence. I can attest to that. Developing arthritis in my left hand only adds more sugar to the Kool-Aid. Typing has become a trial of epic proportions. I think I can do about 15-20 words a minute now. LOL. But it's all life right? And this life is a test. I'm thankful for the opportunity to be tested. This is a piece I've been woking on, and finally decided on a name. Introducing The L.O.T.E Tree. The Lesser Of Two Evils. Maybe someday, God Willing, I'll do into depth about it. Stay Tuned and take care.

My First Artwalk and the Liberty and Justice FOR ALL Exhibit

 This past weekend was filled with more excitement and enthusiasm from a creative perspective than I have witnessed in few years. Why do I say that, you may ask? Well let me tell you. The last time I participated in an art exhibit was almost 2 years ago, when I presented a piece to a gallery located downtown called The Art Hotel Collective. The reception was positive, and I met some cool artists down there. Well due to unforseen circumstances, the gallery moved to the Valley View Mall located in North Dallas, and the gallery became The SLANT Gallery Collective.  It's a much broader layout, and they're able to exhibit more work, including their own, like this cool piece here.

 This piece came from a young local artist Madelyn Sneed, who had an exhibitt with some wonderful paintings inspired by a trip to France. Great oil paintings!










However it is the following exhibit that delighted me, because 1) it deals with something close to my heart, that being social commentary. For the months of May and June The SLANT Gallery will hold an exhibit entitled Liberty and Justice FOR ALL...This one was right up my alley, although I must say I didn't expect my entry to be accepted. Over the past couple of years I experienced so many dry spells, rejections, illnesses and personal issues that I had developed an attitude where my art was only to keep what little personal sanity that I may have. Lack of funds, resources, and the inability to find gainful employment kept me down. Not to mention offers to hold an art workshop at my library somehow fell through the cracks. After submitting proposals and stuff, and watching other programs become approved, as well as getting paid for those programs, I began to become completely despondent, and my art suffered greatly. My spirits had reached a critical low, and depression set in, followed by anxiety. This is not something I would wish on anybody.

When I submitted the pieces the previous weekend, I awaited for the response, which was supposed to have been before midnight Sunday May 3rd. I woke up the next day, didn't see any response, and chalked it up as another loss. However lo and behold, that notification came later in the day, and my picture Pariah: Apocalyptic Now was chosen to be displayed at the exhibit. The exhibit deals with all of the plights of different sectors of people and what they experience in the US, however there is an international flavor added to the exhibit as well. I did not get a pic of all of the pieces, nor did I get the names of the artists and the pieces for everyone, but since the exhibit will be shown during the month of June also, it gives me a chance to collect more for the next blog. 

       
                                                                                          

    This piece was on the exhibit poster, and the artist Karen Jacobi gave me a heads up on the construction of this piece. 

 This piece talks about the Arab Spring. I wanted to meet the artist, Seun Karim, but did not get a chance to. Hopefully next time around.

This was another one of my favorites, commenting on Mexican immigrants. 

This is Pariah: Apocalyptic Now, the piece that I entered into the exhibit, which by the way won rave reviews from many of the visitors, including the proprietor from the SMALL Gallery, which is right across from the SLANT Gallery. They had a similar exhibit, being that they are like a sister gallery to the SLANT Gallery. She has informed me that there will be an exhibition in the upcoming months, and would like to see me submit an entry there as well. 

The SMALL Gallery had an exhibition entitled Listen To The Songs of the Times, and had some marvellous presentations there as well. I plan to get more pics and info on this showing in next month's artwalk as well.

The only odd event that happened that day occurred while riding the bus to the gallery, and noticing the lady on the other side of the bus actually doodling me! Now that was AWKWARD as HECK! I'm not a photogenic type of guy, nor do I consider myself the type that could be an actual study. So, modesty and anxiety kicked in, and I turned my head toward the window so she couldn't continue...Not trying to be difficult, because I'm a chatty person, but that's gonna take some time to get used to....Anyway, till next time....Take care...

Whatcha Up To Q?

Peace All... I'm working on a small blog about the Charles Barkley situation, but before I go into specifics about that subject, being that it's been such a long time that I've actually blogged about anything, let alone shown any of my artwork, I'd thought I send a smidgen of something that I'm working on right now. More later! Enjoy!

The Power of One Piece

 Peace! I haven't forgotten anyone at all, I thought I would go right into blogging and editing the video for the Red Tails tribute that was given at my local library. It was a great event to say the least, the audience fully enjoyed the whole shabang, and I was able to exhibit my community artwork. I also met some locals who didn't know I existed, but then again there are many who don't know me in my neck of the woods. But in addition to the exhibit, my picture along with my artwork was put in the community newspaper(oh boy, I hate photographs) and I was able to present a piece that really made everybody's day. Sgt. Hogues and family could not get over the appreciation and the effort that was put into it, and I have to thank Ms. Almetta Russell, who really worked hard to get this off the ground, as well as the staff at the Highland Hills Library for their support. I have already informed them of my plans for another exhibit soon.

The event was really about Sgt. Hogues in the first place, but I got the wrong impression. I spent  days before the event telling everyone that it was also an exhibit, even though the fliers did not speak of such. I realize now the event was a community affair in his honor, and I am privileged to have shown my work at such a prestigious function. However the one piece dedicated to Sgt. Hogues of the Tuskegee Airmen stole the show, although it was not my intention.


Very few people knew about the painting. Ms. Russell informed me a few weeks going into the event that she would like to give something to him as a token of respect and appreciation for what he and the rest of the Tuskegee Airmen accomplished, especially in the face of such blatant racism, such racism that a lot of Americans believed did not exist anymore until Trayvon Martin, although some of us were telling people that the menace was still present...I won't mention names here, it's not important. I didn't show anyone the piece until a couple of hours before the event. Everyone was blown away by it, even the neighbors as I walked to the library. One elderly gentlemen quipped, "You never know what a person can do...." But he's right. Only a few in my area knew what I was capable of.

But the effect that it had on the community, the Hogues family, and me as well proves of the powerful impact that visual art can have on any society. This community has suffered and still suffers from a serious identity crisis, no one could define any landmarks or any notable presence except former basketball player Spud Webb of the NBA, but that's typical of the hood.

 Barbara Hogues, daughter of Staff Sgt. Hogues explained during the event that the family was not aware of his involvement of the Tuskegee Airmen until 2008, and he didn't receive his Congressional Medal of Honor  until 2009 from the same airport that denied him a job shortly after retiring from the military, telling him the only thing he could do was custodian work. This was AFTER the success the Tuskegee Airmen in World War II. We still have a long way to go before Blacks get serious respect here in America, especially with Trayvon Martin continually haunting America, but now Black youth, as well as White youth should realize all of those slavery stories and stories of racism and domestic terrorism still have impact, because it never left....

Overall I felt it was a victory for a small area that no one cared to remember, except in a negative light, but now we have history as well as culture to bring to the table.


May God Help Us... Peace....

Dining With The Wretched

Peace all,

Pardon the lack of blogging here, but I've been busying coming up with a theme for the next possible exhibit...One thing for sure, it won't be called Back and Forth as first imagined, but it appears to be something much more special, and I will fill you in on the details ASAP. The past couple of weeks have been emotionally draining on me after a couple of incidents that I've experienced, mainly regarding actions, reactions and responses from people that I've respected or had long friendships with. I've come to realize that it's not an issue of whether or not my friends agree with me, for I have friends both on and offline from different walks of life, but rather or not are you seeing what I'm seeing? I become more convinced by the moment that someone else is shaping or reshaping our beliefs and thought patterns, and it ain't God for sure. A couple of people that I would imagine would have more compassion and understanding about the plight of the poor and downtrodden have exposed some very peculiar beliefs, and after attempt to reason with them have given me very different ideas about their way of thinking. One such person who has faced discrimination and injustice for the past 10 years for issues that he has either had resurfaced unjustly or from paid his debt to society open proclaims that injustice is not an issue worth concerning with as long as he has the opportunity to get employment. This type of apathy that comes from people who have experienced some sort of injustice from this cruel and hypocritical society shows just how sad the state of humanity has deteriorated, where one is only concerned about themselves, and even moreso will judge others who may experiences the same cruelty by different standards.

In any event, it is sad to see the masses of people who are of the poor, downtrodden, or even the middle class hold themselves to such hypocritical standards, and allow the immaculately rich, oppressive and greedy few of this planet to dictate, incriminate, discriminate and exploit them all because some evil person supports the stupid notion that "if you're so smart, how come you're not rich?" when the real question is how can you possibly amass so much money? This past week we've witnessed a few of the old racist, slave states come back with discriminatory measures against the poor and people of color, and call it "welfare reform", yet the actions of the wealthy against the poor in America still go unchecked, underexposed, and no accountability is held against these internal crooks. But I'm supposed to be happy the Bin Laden and Anwar Al-Awlaki are no longer living. Yeah right.

I just finished watching this movie entitled Fierce People, a movie about the wealthy and influential and the mirage of peace and tranquility that is giving simply because one is wealthy. The special features section has the actors giving insight on the movie, and one of the directors of the film mentioned that America does have a ruling class despite the claims of Democracy, and that these exorbiant amounts of wealth are not accrued by so-called hard working people, but through inhumane and brutal measures, but an increasing amount of the exploited don't really see the problem with this, as long as they are gettting a crumb or two...Little do they know that this life is not about accruing wealth....

Stay tuned people...It get's more interesting....Peace!

Just Making Conversation

Peace all,

It's uhhruh 12:53pm here in Texas, heat is not as bad as yesterday, but can I fully enjoy the beautiful weather? Well not exactly...I have a bad case of the scratchies from these chiggers while sitting on the grass a couple of days ago...It's all good though, nothing that a nice hot bath won't cure, God Willing. Just need to stock up on the repellant because it could be one of those interesting summers here. Already experienced a couple of tornadoes, the last one came a few days ago, more scary is the fact they are coming more frequently in the nighttime, making it much more difficult to see anything on the outside. This one here came with much hail that rocked the roof here...In the final analysis, a total of eight tornadoes swept through the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex area, rocking areas and even hovering over the downtown Dallas area, where the heedless all play...I'm scared to think what could become of that area should one touch down...Thinking about the tornadoes that rocked Joplin, MO, where one of my friends who just moved to this area lived. At the present 139 killed...Is there a message behind all of this? and more than just a call to go green, which I think is kinda like past that stage anyway...I mean I believe our abuse and misuse of things do have a part in this, but I just think we can't expect to alleviate the situation with abstaining of radioactive waves and aerosol cans and plastics and stuff...I believe it starts in the hearts of man....Change that first...I believe this Earth is in good hands and can always be repaired, remember we didn't create it anyways...But I'm just making conversation...

www.realquwwa.com

People Get Ready!!!

Peace all,

OK WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MAN? YOU STARTED OUT OF THE GATES BLOGGING IT UP AND NOW YOU'VE TAPERED OFF? WHAT'S UP?
Been busy with building the webbie, ya know, and trying to take care of other priorities.

SUCH AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS?
Blogging...lol....Along with working on the photo tip and trying to get some merch to put on the site. Remember now this is not an easy thing when you're flying solo here. But it's the challenge that comes with the territory of being an artist, especially in my case, having to come back from a long hiatus and things seem to go one way and then make drastic twists and turns...

DID YOU GET YOUR INTERNET GOING FINALLY?
Yep, Thank God I did...FINALLY...Took awhile but it fell into place, just in time for the interview with Angel Ayes.

HOW DID THAT GO?
I thoroughly enjoyed it, and wished it would have been longer than an hour. We got a chance to cover some very personal things in an attempt to give the youth of today another outlet to express themselves, and maybe parlay that expression into a career. Many people are grossly unaware of the possibilities that stem from being a visual artist, and it's not just what people conceive as back in the old days. The playing field has opened up with technology, which has also allowed me to evolve into more than just a painter, but a full fledge visual artist.

I have another interview this coming Tuesday with my dear friend Lady Flava, we're going to mix it up on her BTR show.

WHEN IS THAT WEBBIE GONNA DROP?
You can check it out now at http://www.realquwwa.com but it's at its raw stages now, and due to some illnesses, I had to step back a bit, but God Willing it will go on as planned. This is my personal victory...

SO YOU CONSIDER THIS A VICTORY ALREADY?
Yep...

WHY IS THAT?
Because I have it...Sometimes a victory comes at the beginning and not at the end.

ELABORATE PLEASE
This wasn't supposed to have according to many people. Q was supposed to go about his merry way and get a REAL JOB, ya know one with supposed benefits...This was to be left to the hippies and or people who made up in their minds early on this is what they wanted to do. So the fact I opened the site itself is a victory in itself.

GOTCHA. ANYTHING ELSE?
People get ready...Q wants to speak!

MARCH MADNESS IS HERE!

March Madness is here...NO NOT THE NCAA TOURNAMENT! My version of March Madness! LOL




It's been a very eventful year to say the least for the Q and things are right now topsy-turvy. My interview with Angel Ayes which was rescheduled to March 7th(Hey, that's tomorrow, right?) will go on as planned, despite the ever-continuing saga of trying to get some decent internet access. This crap is really beginning to eat at me to the core, with all of the mishaps and stuff going on. I signed onto this service last week, only to have my activation date start TODAY! A FULL WEEK! Then as I tried to activate my account, no access...

So I call tech support today to see what was going on, and they have to escalate my issue to Level 2, which will be tomorrow, hopefully. Sooooo, while connecting to the modem I discovered that I can actually connect to server of my old provider, JUNO, but I would have to pay for the delinquent services in order to the internet. So simple, just call back and pay the bill and have the account reactivated, right? OH SO WRONG!

Usually I do not complain about the services of a company unless they have had a continuous string of inefficiency( I hate that word...efficiency!) but there have been several bad experiences with this provider in the past couple of weeks. I've been told that there was no availability for the service in my area, despite having the service a few months ago. Then I was told that the current modem I have will not work, and they need to send a new one, WRONG! I'm connected to the network right now, I just need to pay the bill and be provisioned to the internet! Then I was told that I could get the service, but my activation will not be until the 13th of March because they have to re-provision my signal and I need to pay a reactivation fee...

I won't go into the language and/or racial barrier, but I will say the experimenting of using foreign people to service your products as a means of efficiency( or shall we just say being plain CHEAP)is failing miserably. Giving people a script and running through scenarios to teach people how to approach certain issues SUCKS! How do I know? I've worked for two of the major tele-plantations myself and this is how they conduct business...All in the name of being CHEAP! Excuse me, efficient. Verizon goes a step further and tells you in training that they have to be cheap on you to stay competitive. So they give you a raise after 90 days, but everything after that is performance bonuses...WTF? So we work for tips now, huh? Like I'm some freakin waitress? Well as Flo used to say "KISS MY GRITS!" The same stress has returned, which means the same overeating and hypertension has reappeared.

These incidents are coming at a time when doubts are arriving, mainly from other factions, but I can't help it! I'm human and I'm tired of being judged or hearing that others are basically writing me off, especially because they don't understand what I'm trying to do here. They're looking at this as some novelty act, or goofy types of craft, but this is serious business...It's hurts me more because it's coming from the mouths of those who say they love me...That really hurts. They are expecting me to stay on a low paying ass job and smile simply because there is a check every two weeks, but if the check can't cover your basic needs, what the f*ck is the reason for staying there? Just to say you have money for a few minutes? What is this attitude that we have that now allows people to accept any type of ill treatment from Mr. Charlie, and tell people to pray on it and leave it to God, but the first insignificant little person ticks us off, we don't pray on it or leave it to God, we go straight for the jugular vein... No wonder these jobs treat us so badly. We worship them the same way or even more than we worship The Creator. We fear them MORE than the Creator, and because of this we will continue to slide down deeper and deeper into bedlam.

But be grateful, right? Yeah but be realistic TOO HOMEY! Struggling just to struggle ain't cutting it!

But when I tell people of my aspirations, they look at it as wishy-washy, so I'm not telling them anymore. I just don't want to hear any fake applause or see fake smiles if this thing jumps off...

Wanna know why I focus so much on Lifestyles of the Ignored? Let's just say I have a lot of experience on this issue.


WWW.REALQUWWA.COM is on it's way...

Peace all...

Let's Do It Again...(Feb 22, 2011)

Peace all...

This is beginning to get serious here, I mean Q actually has 6 blogs in one month? LOL

Sitting here, watching Stand and Deliver and Lean On Me...For inspiration or kicks? You decide..lol




Anyway news from the homefront. I have another interview on BlogTalkRadio with my friend Angel Ayes of the Coach K and Angel Show. The last interview which took place over a year ago was so much fun and my friend Angel who was to be the initial host had something happen to her, and she was unable to attend the show. Coach K filled in for her and it was an exciting show. I was able to hear from some supporters and it was something to behold. I was able to expound on several issues. This time I'm slated to speak about the importance of visual art. I hope to do well.

Things are picking up for me, hoping to get some normalcy real soon, and hoping to get some DSL REEEEEEAL SOOON!

Take Care...Love Ya!

Nonstop...Don't Stop...

Peace all...

Well it's 12:42 pm, and my toes are freezing! Sitting on the floor on a Sunday January Morning watching old Andy Griffith reruns, thinking back to days where old shows like this were not placed on a DVD and/or placed in the back of the cable tv lineup...Quality entertainment, and I still find myself laughing at Otis and Barney...Some people think this reveals my age, although I disagree. Some people just are not into being bombarded with the sexual uninhibited, free floating so called contemporary entertainment. I remember in 2006 I met a young lady at my job who loved 50's music, and had a serious collection of old hits, although she was only 26 at the time...Some people just look for quality.

Anyway, good news on the homefront. After all of that worrying about losing the opportunity to gain employment, I went into the office Friday, took the test, and was able to pass, and so now my start date will be January 31st. That gives me one more week of freedom.

But who has freedom when you are an artist? I mean c'mon! As far as I am concerned I am very far behind on things I wanted to accomplish, and now I only have 7 days to show that my time off from work was not a total waste of time.

I admit I became very distracted and very depressed when things did not take shape like I wanted to last year. I began to look for instant comfort in food and online friends. I lost focus and plenty of times I wanted to chuck it in. Even at this moment I feel I am embattled, and it just gets tiring. Nothing seems to go right. This past fall a fellow artist and Facebook friend from across the seas agreed to do a swap with me. She did a beautiful painting of two Kenyan women and agreed to swap with me for one of my bags. She sent the picture via regular parcel December 9 and it has yet to arrive. We've been trying to find some information on the package, but to no avail. Very depressing for me.




I keep trying to convince myself something better is on the way, but it gets hard. It's hard for me to keep going sometimes for fear that I'm going to start all over again, and it just gets tiring. I can relate to the Roots song "Rising Down" where he says, "Yo I ain't trying to floss, yo I lost my passion, and I ain't trying to climb I done lost my passion" and "My contents Under pressure do not shake!"




I'm not complaining at all, I'm just telling it like it is. Sometimes if you don't share your feelings, your feelings will eat you up, so I put it in forms of poetry, art or blog.

I have done a couple of videos and hope to finish another one for an interview I have with a writer friend of mine, and I have plans to contact the director for the Stewpot, a collection of artists who sell their art, and give some of the proceeds to help the homeless. I hope to get some positive feedback from that.

Sabrun Jamil...

I'll keep you posted...Love y'all...Take Care.

Universal Truth

Peace all, I kinda kept this blog under wraps for a few days and almost decided to shelve it, but things pop up and well, ya know, you blow the dust off the ol' bloggy and copy and paste! Simple as that!

Got more things in store so stay tuned, oh also gotta tell you this story, it's from the so you think you have the power? department...lol

Today after a great frolick through the fields and a brisk walk through the 'hood, I came back home to find the recruiter from my job called, wanting to speak with me. I called back and left a brief message to call me ASAP. A few minutes later the recruiter called stating that she had bad news, referring to the new job position that I was slated to start this Thursday. Due to circumstances beyond their control, the class was completely cancelled. TWO DAYS before I was slated to appear! In the meantime I am going to take another test this Friday, hopefully I will pass the test. But you know the Q by now, right? It's time for ME!

Until next time, enjoy the blog...Peace!

Peace all,

It's 5:29 am and I am up doing a blog? Another one? I just completed a blog a couple of days ago and now I have another one? What is the world coming to? LOL

Anyway, this one is kinda different because it involves a recent occurrance where one of my Facebook friends made a comment that I took exception to. The person made the comment praying for women to have elder women counselers because as she asks "why do we continue to ask men for counsel when they have no idea what is in our hearts?"

I immediately replied that Truth has no gender, and while I believe women should be educated and knowledgeable, it should not reach the point of feminist slant, for that will only cause more problems. I will not go into definitions of feminism in this blog for that is another topic althogether, my main issue here is Truth.






Then the question was asked to the men, "what is it I said that was offensive to the men who replied?" which I immediately countered that I am not offended but I do take exception to the statement made. See people have tendencies to make statements out of emotions without checking for full content. I was raised mostly by my mother, most of my early life teachings were from my mother, not my father, who worked constantly during my childhood years. He taught me some things however became disenchanted with alot of decisions I made before his death, especially my choice of Islam. I have no physical blood brothers at all, and grew up for a major portion of my life playing with my sisters if my male cousins or male friends were not around at the time. Yes, I know what it is like to play with paper dolls at an early age, cutting out pictures from JCPenney and Sears catalogs, cutting up boxes and converting them into houses and cars. I played jacks(bald headed baby) and so forth. Most of my memories of family have to do with women. Grandmothers, aunts, great grandmothers and so forth. So most of my upbringing was around a female environment, and truth be told, many African American men can relate to my story in one way or another. This is one of the reasons I continue to be on lookout for the welfare of my mother and sisters despite my fathers' death. No I don't know everything that goes on in a woman's heart, but shouldn't we all be searching for that same Truth, that Same Reality, or is their a Feminine Truth and Reality somewhere that separates women from men although we claim to be human?


Truth be told I have counseled many women on issues in the past and some have sought out my assistance in matters from Islam to marriage and so forth. So you can imagine how I felt when someone makes such a blanket statement as this.




The more I think of the human being the more frustrated I become. This enigma called human being continues to open itself to many contradictions and inconsistencies. We raise the banner to one fight, and ignore another fight of similar circumstances, yet we call ourselves fighters and seekers for Truth and Justice. Our prejudices ooze from cracks and crevices we either don't see, failed to see, or ignore completely. Our specific rants which may hint to discrimination becomes law and Absolute Truth is mere opinion and propaganda. Yes I do believe in Absolutes, and no I am not a Sith.

Truth has no gender, race, age bracket, social class, or tribal affiliation, for Truth comes from the One Who created all of these things, but try telling that to the human being who makes statements such as "With age comes Wisdom" completely ignoring the crimes and atrocities created by elder statesmen, or "It's a Black thang, you wouldn't understand", ignoring the worldwide oppression of other peoples and in many cases buying into the propaganda created by imperialistic factions. Or the many statements some females use to separate humanness from their male counterparts or males who perpetrate the same offences. Different perspectives does not amount to different Truths, does it? To me, it's either Truth or Falsehood.

Frankly put it doesn't matter to me what kind of counsel I get, I've heard both sides and I've heard counsel from my elders, some of them who still called me boy as is I'm not a grown man. I have also been pretty much cast aside by family member who have encouraged the dissolving of my family, basing their conclusions on slander which they have refused to recognize their wrongdoing and have yet to acknowledge their wrongdoings. Female counselers may I add, who have suggested to these things not based on Truth but conjecture and other sicknesses in their hearts. In the end it's not about a black or white, or male and female, or rich or poor thing, it's Truth and Falsehood, well at least that's the way I look at it. Different perspectives is great, but last I check it's still the same road.

So you can keep your specific desires and requests. Just give me the Truth, it's all from God(Allah) anyway.

Back on my BEAT!

Peace All,

Sometimes you have to play the game injured! And that's exactly what I'm doing now, taking pictures of reconstruction in progress on a bum hip that I hurt, or should I say reaggravated while doing laundry last weekend. This sucka hurts soo much that raising my back while getting outta my bed is excruciating! Yet I got my gameface on, and the camera's in the bag and snap city is now in session! Although I can't quite sit up in a continuous manner to draw anything, I took the opportunity to venture outside and WHOA! SNOW!

News Flash! Snow in Texas! Again! Not as bad as last year when I woke up only to find a large branch resting comfortably on my car! LOL




I took my injured behind outside and walked 'til my heart was content. It's something about snow that makes the whole neighborhood seem so quiet and peaceful. I thought about things and new approaches to my work.


In the evening time I'm relaxing with different teas mixed with Green Tea. Today it was cups of Ginger Twist and Peppermint mixed with Green Tea. I'm sorta going back to my old ways of relaxing with teas, getting into a certain relaxed mood. Plus I'm getting my Kefir on, getting different flavors to keep it interesting. It was a very important part of my regiment in my quest to get back into tip-top shape...




Taking things one day at a time and one step at a time. Getting back into the flow.

Take care all...

Now What? (Interview with myself...I KNOW...LOL)

Peace Y'all,

Thought I'd have a lil fun with this blog, so I put it in interview form. I just love interviewing myself! LOL


Q: WITH THE NEW YEAR UPON US TELL US SOME OF YOUR RESOLUTIONS.
A: I don't make New Year's resolutions

Q: AND WHY NOT MAY I ASK?
A: Well, several reasons, but let's just go with the fact that many of them will be broken shortly after they are made...lol...So why continue?

Q: OK, TELL US OF ANY FUTURE PLANS OR GOALS SET FOR THE YEAR.
A: You won't quit, will you? LOL

Q: YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S SOMEWHAT A REASONABLE QUESTION?
A: Yes, it is, but after what I experienced the later parts of last year, I have become somewhat reluctant to set goals, although I know it's great to plan ahead and put my trust in God(Allah), but I'm human...

Q: SO YOU'RE GUN SHY NOW?
A: You can call it that, but I think I am coming out of the self-created shell I made for myself. Usually when people encounter many trials in their life they have a tendency to try to shield themselves from further hurt. I know I did. They just kept coming one after the other.

Q: LIKE THE LOST OF POSSESSIONS AND SUCH?
A: Definitely, especially my means of transportation, because it symbolized achievements some people actually doubted I could do for myself. Also it came at the time I was trying to do my first exhibition, so that really shook me. To almost quitting the whole thing.

Q: SO DO YOU FEEL ANY DIFFERENT NOW?
A: I know it's all a test and I have some great support from the home front as well as friends from afar, via blogs, BlogTalkRadio, Facebook and so forth. They all encouraged me from the spiritual aspect, and reminded me of what I am supposed to be doing and Who am I doing it for.

Q: SO DID YOU WORK ON ANYTHING AFTER MISSING THE EXHIBITION?
A: In all honesty I didn't do much, mainly because other personal things came into play, as well as looking for employment, which I hope has been solved on a temporary basis.

Q: SO YOU NEVER DISCARDED YOUR ASPIRATIONS OF SELF-SUFFICIENCY?
A: You can't discard your dreams and aspirations over a few setbacks. In reality they are only setbacks if you let them become setbacks. No one is promised ease in this life and Islam teaches trials are not given to flunk, but to make self assessments, purify, teach and gear up for even bigger tasks. I can only pray that is the case with me.

Q: SO CAN YOU GIVE US A LITTLE SCOOCH OF WHAT WE CAN EXPECT OR HOPE TO EXPECT THIS YEAR?
A: Not much has been made concrete yet except for a website.

Q: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME WE ARE FINALLY GOING TO BE GRACED WITH A WEBSITE?
A: God Willing(Insha Allah) No set date yet.

Q: WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THIS WEBSITE?
A: Everything hopefully. From videos to art and other items.

Q: MORE POETRY?
A: Huh? (LOL)

Q: CAN WE EXPECT MORE POETRY?
A: Depends...Most of my poems are spontaneous. I don't normally write down my poems, just like I normally don't sketch out my artwork either.

Q: SORTA FREESTYLE LIKE JAY-Z?
A: Whatever...(LOL)

Q: ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORKS?
A: I'm working on other Blog Talk Radio interviews in the near future, more details as they come, plus I may be looking into joining a local art group called The Stewpot. The artists there sell their work and some of the proceeds go to feeding the homeless. It's similar to The Lost Ones Exhibit I was slated for last August. But we'll see about that. Again more details as they come. Right now I'm working on a video to put on my YouTube Channel. I guess you can say if I have made any sort of a resolution it is to make myself more visible than previously. It should be coming out soon, God Willing.

IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE INTERVIEWING ME, WE MUST DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME...LOL

ANY LAST WORDS?
A: Never give up, life is a test, and Allah has power over all things...Peace.

What Now?

Peace all...

It's 6:14pm and I'm sitting down with this hot laptop on my lap, I guess I took the name laptop too seriously(lol).

But anyway, I have some good from the homestead! After over 6 months ya boy landed a JIZZOB!(YAY!)The time it took and the mental beating it took on me was brutal, but yeah, I landed one, so all those naysayers can sit down and shut up! But we know that won't happen right? HA HAAA!


With that in mind, the question now becomes what happens now? I mean granted it is a job, however it's a mere job that barely covers my immediate needs. I mean I'm grateful, but I also have to be a realist. Am I relegated to hopping from one job to another? And what does this mean for my art: is this another spiraling tale of unfulfilled wishes and dreams, is it a stepping stone for something greater? Granted when I left my previous job I felt it was the beginning of something great, with a show lined up, people digging some of my creations, and all of a sudden I lost a lot of things. My car was the most devastating thing because it was a source of independence for me. A symbol of efforts made along with patience and faith in God(Allah) and myself. Now I'm back to spending 2 and a half hours just to get to a job that takes 30 minutes to get there by personal transportation.

One of my Facebook friends told me that sometimes you have to purge yourself and keep those things that are needed. I'm realizing that now. It doesn't make sense from the outset when you look at it, after all I have to go and wash clothes, buy groceries, go to work, etc, etc, etc....LOL. But I think I'm getting the jist of what she meant. So I take that deep sigh, but move on...

It's gotta get better somewhere, somehow, someway...




Take care all...

Dustin' Off...

Peace all,

Had a real intense blog this week about my reaction with the HIV/AIDS awareness, but after trying to sort all of the frenzy out, I shelved it. I spent so much time contemplating and discussing the subject, and I faced so many opinions and strategies on supposed preventive measures, and what I can truly say is that this a very emotional and expansive topic, and it seemed to go nowhere. However from the discussions I have learned alot and I feel I can add HIV/AIDS to the topics to address with my art, and hope that God Willing it can spark as much dialogue and look for more avenues to address research and preventive measures than just giving addicts clean needles, making sexual active people use condoms and treading dangerous waters by admonishing the whole population to take tests, even long time married couples based on suspicions, isolated personal experience and sporadic evidence. It will not do a thing to solve the situation, nor to create a society of forgiveness, responsibility, and knowledge nor help those in need to really show sincerity and concern. It's bigger than what we may have expected and maybe some have even hoped. Everyone is affected somehow, someway. How it started and where and who started it is no longer a priority.


Anyway, I have other things lined up as well, and hopefully a website should be coming soon, filled with neat lil' goodies(oh boy!) but that's pending on a couple of issues, mainly financing. I have a potential job lined up, 3 guesses where? THAT'S RIGHT A CALL CENTER!

This one is a bit different, for I have no plans on staying on any job like this. I feel I am more focused than ever on what I really want to do, priorities are in order, strategy is in place, and now I am praying and waiting for the doors to open up. This is only to supplement my immediate needs, for we all have immediate needs right?

And DSL is one of them....Oh boy...

Take care all!

Letting it go...

Peace All,

At this point in my life I've come to learn to accept the fact that if I had a middle name it should be struggle...LOL

The past few months have completely taken a toll on me, as well as forced me to take a long look at myself, to check my intentions, look at my high points and low points, and try to come up with some form of strategy for both short and long term goals I made.

I thought I had a strategy all in place earlier this year, and I thought my departure from my job would signify a new era for the Q beginning with the exhibition, not to say this is why I left my job(though some have garnered serious allegations and slandered my name) but however things turned topsy-turvy, and I found myself sprawling into a pile of stress, worries, accusations and downfalls. I now find myself defending my positions to people who either don't know me fully, or don't really understand what is going on. At times I have even doubted myself and have stepped back many times to see if it is something I am doing wrong, or is it a test from God(Allah) which will purify me, develop more of a trust in Him as well as gear me up for something bigger down the road.

They say you should always have a good opinion about God, and I do, but it's really hard being a mere human being, trying to trust Him when you don't see the whole picture. I understand that's what the tests of life is for, and also understand that if He doesn't care or deem good for a person, He will not try them so severly. Last week was another one of those tests, I almost lost my storage which included very personal and important items, many of my books and videos among other things that I accumulated over 8 years.

The outcome was good, and I feel like my trust in God has grown, but I'm growing more tired of having to explain myself to people who don't see these things as tests and trials from God, but rather shortcomings or failures of my own. People ask why have I become somewhat of a recluse in the past few years. In reality I am not a recluse, just a man who is tired of being around people who don't seem to take things in a serious manner or who look at things from a superficial point of view.

I know of people who are unemployed for the same amount of time I've been, or even longer, yet in their conversations they don't seem to mention anyone doubting their intentions or integrity, so why should I be different? Why should I be looked upon as some deceitful, light-headed, non-serious guy with a dream simply because I'm looking within myself to advance myself instead of ever-chasing a permanently temporary job, and why am I being blasted for defending myself, my sanity and my integrity, as if to say these things are not important anymore? When did money replace integrity, decency, honor, and respect?

So I continue to travel lightly. One day, God Willing, it will all make sense.



Take care all...

Sobriety is the New Enemy!

Peace Y'all

First I must apologize for my lack of political acumen. I mean I totally forgot this was the year of the elections, so there I said it! LOL

I mean after all, it's not like I don't have any interest in politics, but I don't believe that old cliche' "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is an all-encompassing statement, I mean sometimes you have to know when to continue to try and when to quit, when to let it go, ya know?

In this great state of mine our governor has slickly gotten away without any notice about the allegations of taking bribes from a Big Pharma company in exchange for making the HPV vaccine mandatory for ALL public school- attending girls over the age of 12, regardless if they are sexually active or not. Local schoolboard elections have given victory to gangsters who masterfully take the money from school(84,000,000 dollars last I checked) superintendents come and go like Arab nomads, our two-faced mayors and other city officials are continuing to find themselves on the news, and not for good reasons either. And the grand fiasco of all, realizing America's first Black President is not any better than America's last White President, bailing out the real bank robbers, lying about the economy, and now resorting to Juniors' old tricks of the same old tired "somebody's trying to terrorize America" scam, one must begin to wonder what is this politic mess all about.

But I must admit there are some things worth really voting for, and this year brought out some doozies, mainly Propositions 1 and 2, propositions about whether or not beer and wine can be sold in grocery stores in Dallas proper. For the most part Dallas is still a dry city, except for certain business areas and in the parts in the 'hood(as if that's a surprise). Surprisingly my area which is now seeing its part of ghettoization/gentrification taking place, had an ordinance prohibiting the sales of liquor in stores, but like most if not all pre-dominately African-American 'hoods, they were at one time predominately White neighborhoods until the n... well you know the rest of THAT story.



Now advertisements now popping up on so many billboards entering downtown and even skyscrapers are encouraging passers-by to get tow-down, with giant-size billboards of the latest and greatest of hooch, elegantly packaged to make even the stinky-bummy drunk look and feel as if they are privileged to swig such a fine wine.


To suck the voters into approving this move brochures were printed out using the old "enhance the economy" and "encourage economic development" and paying better wages to policemen routine, and adding the notion that if this is not passed, the city will be unable to recouperate at least 30 million dollars from an already whopping 80 million dollar city deficit. This lack of funding has supposedly made the city cutback funding to parks, pools and libraries, now even the downtown library looks like a ghost town every Monday, but strangely enough orchestrated music is piped through the elegant Bose speakers hanging above the entrance. This past summer, stores all around the Dallas area, even Wal Mart neighborhood markets hosted registration tables encouraging people to vote YES to sell beer and wine in grocery stores in Dallas proper.




This photo was taken at a gas station in my 'hood. My area has not had a grocery store in the past 2 years, yet people are being encouraged to vote YES on November 2nd to allow beer and wine to be sold in such places.

A couple of problems here, especially in my hood, where the nearest grocery store is a DOLLAR STORE! Which is more important, a grocery store, or the ability to sell hooch in a grocery store? If you don't have a car in my neck of the 'hood, tough rockos kid, 'cause the nearest decent store is miles away. There's only two ways to get food in my area, the dollar store(with its limited supply of meat, and even more limited supply of non-pork meat), or pretend you're poor(if you're not) and go to Mt. Tabor Baptist Church and front yo' self a sack of groceries every Tuesday.

Another issue is the cry about the rise of crime already in these 'hoods, especially in the impoverished areas, but nevermind that correct? I mean the only drugs that are illegal here are marijuana, crack and cocaine(which you won't see in my parts), right? Never mind that before the invention of crack, alcohol was the suicidal choice in the hood, right? Nevermind that every year more people die of alcohol-related incidents 4 times over than the amount of people killed in the World Trade Center on 9/11, but hey, no one's shut down a brewery right? Or accused a liquor store of being a terrorist cell, right? Then why use the same old revenue-generating excuse( which we the taxpayers won't see anyway) as a means to pump sauce into the neighborhoods, knowing fully we won't see the results of such ventures except maybe increases in deaths, dependency and depression? What happened to the Texas Lottery, that was legalized in 1992, which the proceeds from that was said to fix roads, schools and.... Where's that money? More and more casinos are being built, more ways to gamble your money away are being established, and more and more ways to hype up your addiction or depression are concocted, but what happened to the jobs? How can private-owned buildings continue to go up downtown while public libraries, pools and parks are closing down?




In closing, I want to make it clear that this is not a blog to encourage or discourage voting, or to urge to vote no, but basically showing the sickness of this society, allowing corporations and political pundits to to further contribute to the spread of vices and addictions and hide them under pseudonyms called "urban development" "economic growth" and so on. In the end who really wins?

Peace y'all

...Quandry (Black Haunting)

Peace all,

Sometimes being a clutterbug(such as me!!!) has it's downers. Take today for instance. After feeling good about labelling my next project Black Haunting, some of the ideas I have for the project spurred into another direction, and ANOTHER project came about, one I'm thinking of entitling What Was It All For Anyway? I think both of these will really be interesting in scope and range, as well as content, and I'm sure it will be one that not too many people would want to talk about initially. But that's me right? Always into something, always causing trouble...Tee hee hee!!!

I am in my best mood right now after recovering from what looked like a down point in my life. Missing the exhibit, The Lost Ones, one that Joanna worked so hard in getting to happen, and one that I wanted to participate so badly made me take a hard look into wondering if I should continue on. But even more sad were the incidents that took place which resulted in my abscence. I usually don't place my personal feelings and incidents online, however I feel this one needed to be stated in order for me to move on with my life.

Two weeks before the exhibit my car was repossessed for late payments. I had been searching for ways to pay for the car as well as looking for a job after leaving my last job, (an issue which some people are still trying to second guess to this day) but was unable to come up with any solution. I went through several ordeals to get this car, and to find out it was taken away really hurt me. I had left some personal belongings and some clothes in the car at the time it was repossessed. In order to retrieve those items I had to borrow my mother's car, drive 60 miles out of Dallas and back to retrieve my belongings.

I tried to look for employment opportunities to keep the car and my personal finances in good standing, but nothing happened. I searched and prayed for relief and kept toiling about. Finally I asked some relatives(who are very able mind you) to front me a loan until I can get back on my feet in order to redeem the car and to help with some basic needs. At first I was told that the check would be in the mail and I would get it the next day. I cried and thanked God(Allah) thinking this would save my car, and help with some basic needs until I can get back on my feet.

A couple of hours later I received a call from their son pretending to ask questions about what happened at my previous jobs, why I left those jobs or was fired, and what the future hold for me(which only God can answer that). He says we was trying to help me find some work or some leads, as if he was sincere. I honestly told him what happened and my aspirations for doing my own thing as well. The very next day I received a package with some old dates and a printout of a narration from Prophet Muhammad(S) about how the person's sustenance was written in the womb of the mother 120 days after conception and NO CHECK. This statement is true, but the circumstances behind why this happened are fishy. The rest of the story is too hard to tell, and too hard to think about.

In any case I lost my car, among other things, and now I am somewhat starting from scratch, but I have not lost my zeal and my drive in any way. Actually many of the current events are the catalyst for my newest projects. And these trials that I go through make me stronger for handling bigger problems that may come my way in the future.




Keep moving forward...

Silver Lining

Peace all,

It's 1:56am where I live and it is the 16th of Ramadhan, the Muslim month of fasting. I am saddened, puzzled and perplexed to say the least. I sit here blogging, more confused than ever about recent events that forced me to cancel my appearance at The Lost Ones exhibit this Saturday. All that hyping up the event and all that planning came to a screeching halt as personal reasons forced me to deal with what still seems to be a priority. I am trying to bring a message with my art as well as make this and other art ventures my sole means of maintaining my family, but now I find myself disappointed to say the least. It says in the Quran that there maybe a thing that you like that may have something in it that is not good, and there may be a thing that you hate but may have good in it. I try to look at the things from this perspective, but hey, I am a human being with limited knowledge, meaning I'm not going to figure out everything in life that is thrown at me, so I must look toward Al Hakim(The Most Wise) to see what is the meaning of all of this. Sometimes I get the point later on, sometimes I don't, but it still adds up to God being in total control of everything, and I have to accept it as that. He knows and I don't know.

I find myself now in a state of flux, not trying to come off as wishy washy, but just finding myself wondering if I should continue on, that is until my friend Joanna Ballard, the one hosting the event, reminded me what is the main reason for this event. It is not about art, not about Quwwa or Joanna, it is about the homeless and us using our God given talents to bring about consciousness.

It still hurts though and even more so seeing that fact that I may be starting over, back to square one so to speak. I feel like a rapper right now, scared as heck of having to look for employment outside of my own talents. I have been looking for employment anyway but nothing has come of fruition, and frankly I don't want to go back into a world where I am disrespected, mistreated and used to make some other sucker rich, only to come home with a few measley crumbs to toss at my family. I have regained my agility, energy and health since leaving my job May 23, and since that time my weight has dropped drastically, as the size 50 baggy pants that I wore while at work now looks totally out of proportion, as I seem to have shrunk down to a size 46 now. The last time this happened in 2002 I lost a total of 120 pounds, only to gain it back once I started hitting up these jobs.

I have to do for my family though, and I have no problem with that at all. I don't look at kids as crumbsnatchers, however they are quickly becoming looked upon as crumbeaters, as criminals continue to force the hand of an economy that has no business being in existence, but continues to thrive while a sleeping population continues with the status quo, and very few are seeming to wake up and take charge of their own destinies. I pray that I don't go out as another dreaming independent artist who had to "face reality"



Please help me to understand Allah...

PARTY TIME!!!!

Peace all...

Thinking back to the mid '90s, I can recall getting so excited about the upcoming family vacation to Disneyland. We saved our money to get the tickets, packed clothes and snacks, rented vans for the long road trip, took the scenic route (Very scenic when we got around Mississippi....lol), the whole nine yards. Rented some condos around Kissimmee, Florida, yeah, we were about to do it up Mickey style. But when the vacation was over, as far as me and my uncle, all we did was go half on a pizza, watch cable, fed the begging ducks who surrounded us at the park bench and sat around the condo while everyone else went to Dizzinyland (incorrect spelling intended). Many people looked at that as wasting money, but looking back I thoroughly enjoyed it, and look at it as one of the most memorable vacations I had ever taken, almost topping that time when my family went to Fiesta Texas and I spent a good portion of the time tormenting those little kids on the bumper cars !!!

Well, Q had to take another one of those wander-off-somewhere-for-no-reason-at-all vacations. Just hopped up, left town and stayed away from it all. Destination not important, and I have no pictures of me with balloons or riding on the roller coaster, no pics of me piggin out at the local restaurant, or running thru the beach like some crazed lunatic to splurge to my fans, none of that! Yes, again I just got away from it all, watched tv, and ate. Yeah, I had some other things planned, but they fell threw, and I did not pitch one hissy over it either, I got the rest that I needed, and now I am refocused.

Some people again thought, ok, you could have done this at home. Really? Sometimes you have to get away from familiarity, but we think getting away means camera, film, the whole nine, now we bring blackberries, and all kinds of things to the vacation, then complain about still needed rest. But I look at it this way, why should I paint the town like a madman, only to come back tired, still complaining of lack of rest just to say "I had big fun?" For the past 3 years, no make that 8 years I have been on a serious rollercoaster ride. Unemployed, stressed, starving, disputes, you name it. This was the first week I had the opportunity to just sit up and do nothing. No facebook, no art, no blog, Nuthin! Just got away from it all. Some people think a vacation or going out of town means non stop partying, whoopin it up, Disco Duck style! lol.... I'm the type that likes to take it down, especially after spending the past couple of months unhealthy and totally stressed out from dealing with this no account job I had. So my apologies to everyone for not bombarding my blogs or facebook with pictures and events of my vacation....But I had fun, and will do it again soon.....That is...

unless I see some little kids drivin' bumper cars ..... MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

Take care all!