Saturday, November 27, 2010

Moving on...

Peace all,

I've been away for awhile, conjuring up new things to bring to the table. Things are happening so fast and so much that one can lose sight of the bigger picture, however at least I can say most of these things that are happening are on a more positive note. I usually balance my blogs so to give the reader the ups and downs, and not just a lot of fluff involved. I have a couple of blogs in mind coming soon, but in the meantime, kick back and relax while I smile a bit....LOL.

Still no word on the job status, and it is getting more frustrating by the day as I travail through this terrain trying to seek out some employment( ALL THOSE T'S...LOL)but I feel the end of the search is near, and pray that something good comes along. I can't help but feel apprehensive however when I find myself filling out an application for a call center position, knowing the last 3 jobs I've had were in those environments, and they have done so much to my mental that I can truly say I don't know if I can be effective in such an environment anymore. But I keep looking and applying. Anyway...

During my time away I am gaining more confidence in working with Photoshop Elements and with a pen tablet, yeah you've guessed it, Q is into digital arts too! I use to have some apprehension to technology as a whole, due to believing that it was not as "pure" and "natural" as maybe other forms of visual artistry, but now I feel it can only enhance my repetoire, especially in mixed media which can use a lot of photography and clippings, so stay tuned! Ol' Q looks to switch it up a bit here!

I've also been asked to give another BlogTalkRadio interview, more to come on that later.

Gotta go all, the library is closing up and I gotta get back home to watch the rest of The Wire....Until then..

Peace all...LOVE YA!

PS...This piece here has yet to be finished...I can truly say it has been my most troublesome piece, trying to find what can complement this piece...I'll get to it, God Willing..

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Letting it go...

Peace All,

At this point in my life I've come to learn to accept the fact that if I had a middle name it should be struggle...LOL

The past few months have completely taken a toll on me, as well as forced me to take a long look at myself, to check my intentions, look at my high points and low points, and try to come up with some form of strategy for both short and long term goals I made.

I thought I had a strategy all in place earlier this year, and I thought my departure from my job would signify a new era for the Q beginning with the exhibition, not to say this is why I left my job(though some have garnered serious allegations and slandered my name) but however things turned topsy-turvy, and I found myself sprawling into a pile of stress, worries, accusations and downfalls. I now find myself defending my positions to people who either don't know me fully, or don't really understand what is going on. At times I have even doubted myself and have stepped back many times to see if it is something I am doing wrong, or is it a test from God(Allah) which will purify me, develop more of a trust in Him as well as gear me up for something bigger down the road.

They say you should always have a good opinion about God, and I do, but it's really hard being a mere human being, trying to trust Him when you don't see the whole picture. I understand that's what the tests of life is for, and also understand that if He doesn't care or deem good for a person, He will not try them so severly. Last week was another one of those tests, I almost lost my storage which included very personal and important items, many of my books and videos among other things that I accumulated over 8 years.

The outcome was good, and I feel like my trust in God has grown, but I'm growing more tired of having to explain myself to people who don't see these things as tests and trials from God, but rather shortcomings or failures of my own. People ask why have I become somewhat of a recluse in the past few years. In reality I am not a recluse, just a man who is tired of being around people who don't seem to take things in a serious manner or who look at things from a superficial point of view.

I know of people who are unemployed for the same amount of time I've been, or even longer, yet in their conversations they don't seem to mention anyone doubting their intentions or integrity, so why should I be different? Why should I be looked upon as some deceitful, light-headed, non-serious guy with a dream simply because I'm looking within myself to advance myself instead of ever-chasing a permanently temporary job, and why am I being blasted for defending myself, my sanity and my integrity, as if to say these things are not important anymore? When did money replace integrity, decency, honor, and respect?

So I continue to travel lightly. One day, God Willing, it will all make sense.

Take care all...

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