What Now?

Peace all...

It's 6:14pm and I'm sitting down with this hot laptop on my lap, I guess I took the name laptop too seriously(lol).

But anyway, I have some good from the homestead! After over 6 months ya boy landed a JIZZOB!(YAY!)The time it took and the mental beating it took on me was brutal, but yeah, I landed one, so all those naysayers can sit down and shut up! But we know that won't happen right? HA HAAA!


With that in mind, the question now becomes what happens now? I mean granted it is a job, however it's a mere job that barely covers my immediate needs. I mean I'm grateful, but I also have to be a realist. Am I relegated to hopping from one job to another? And what does this mean for my art: is this another spiraling tale of unfulfilled wishes and dreams, is it a stepping stone for something greater? Granted when I left my previous job I felt it was the beginning of something great, with a show lined up, people digging some of my creations, and all of a sudden I lost a lot of things. My car was the most devastating thing because it was a source of independence for me. A symbol of efforts made along with patience and faith in God(Allah) and myself. Now I'm back to spending 2 and a half hours just to get to a job that takes 30 minutes to get there by personal transportation.

One of my Facebook friends told me that sometimes you have to purge yourself and keep those things that are needed. I'm realizing that now. It doesn't make sense from the outset when you look at it, after all I have to go and wash clothes, buy groceries, go to work, etc, etc, etc....LOL. But I think I'm getting the jist of what she meant. So I take that deep sigh, but move on...

It's gotta get better somewhere, somehow, someway...




Take care all...

Dustin' Off...

Peace all,

Had a real intense blog this week about my reaction with the HIV/AIDS awareness, but after trying to sort all of the frenzy out, I shelved it. I spent so much time contemplating and discussing the subject, and I faced so many opinions and strategies on supposed preventive measures, and what I can truly say is that this a very emotional and expansive topic, and it seemed to go nowhere. However from the discussions I have learned alot and I feel I can add HIV/AIDS to the topics to address with my art, and hope that God Willing it can spark as much dialogue and look for more avenues to address research and preventive measures than just giving addicts clean needles, making sexual active people use condoms and treading dangerous waters by admonishing the whole population to take tests, even long time married couples based on suspicions, isolated personal experience and sporadic evidence. It will not do a thing to solve the situation, nor to create a society of forgiveness, responsibility, and knowledge nor help those in need to really show sincerity and concern. It's bigger than what we may have expected and maybe some have even hoped. Everyone is affected somehow, someway. How it started and where and who started it is no longer a priority.


Anyway, I have other things lined up as well, and hopefully a website should be coming soon, filled with neat lil' goodies(oh boy!) but that's pending on a couple of issues, mainly financing. I have a potential job lined up, 3 guesses where? THAT'S RIGHT A CALL CENTER!

This one is a bit different, for I have no plans on staying on any job like this. I feel I am more focused than ever on what I really want to do, priorities are in order, strategy is in place, and now I am praying and waiting for the doors to open up. This is only to supplement my immediate needs, for we all have immediate needs right?

And DSL is one of them....Oh boy...

Take care all!

Moving on...

Peace all,

I've been away for awhile, conjuring up new things to bring to the table. Things are happening so fast and so much that one can lose sight of the bigger picture, however at least I can say most of these things that are happening are on a more positive note. I usually balance my blogs so to give the reader the ups and downs, and not just a lot of fluff involved. I have a couple of blogs in mind coming soon, but in the meantime, kick back and relax while I smile a bit....LOL.

Still no word on the job status, and it is getting more frustrating by the day as I travail through this terrain trying to seek out some employment( ALL THOSE T'S...LOL)but I feel the end of the search is near, and pray that something good comes along. I can't help but feel apprehensive however when I find myself filling out an application for a call center position, knowing the last 3 jobs I've had were in those environments, and they have done so much to my mental that I can truly say I don't know if I can be effective in such an environment anymore. But I keep looking and applying. Anyway...

During my time away I am gaining more confidence in working with Photoshop Elements and with a pen tablet, yeah you've guessed it, Q is into digital arts too! I use to have some apprehension to technology as a whole, due to believing that it was not as "pure" and "natural" as maybe other forms of visual artistry, but now I feel it can only enhance my repetoire, especially in mixed media which can use a lot of photography and clippings, so stay tuned! Ol' Q looks to switch it up a bit here!

I've also been asked to give another BlogTalkRadio interview, more to come on that later.

Gotta go all, the library is closing up and I gotta get back home to watch the rest of The Wire....Until then..

Peace all...LOVE YA!



PS...This piece here has yet to be finished...I can truly say it has been my most troublesome piece, trying to find what can complement this piece...I'll get to it, God Willing..

Letting it go...

Peace All,

At this point in my life I've come to learn to accept the fact that if I had a middle name it should be struggle...LOL

The past few months have completely taken a toll on me, as well as forced me to take a long look at myself, to check my intentions, look at my high points and low points, and try to come up with some form of strategy for both short and long term goals I made.

I thought I had a strategy all in place earlier this year, and I thought my departure from my job would signify a new era for the Q beginning with the exhibition, not to say this is why I left my job(though some have garnered serious allegations and slandered my name) but however things turned topsy-turvy, and I found myself sprawling into a pile of stress, worries, accusations and downfalls. I now find myself defending my positions to people who either don't know me fully, or don't really understand what is going on. At times I have even doubted myself and have stepped back many times to see if it is something I am doing wrong, or is it a test from God(Allah) which will purify me, develop more of a trust in Him as well as gear me up for something bigger down the road.

They say you should always have a good opinion about God, and I do, but it's really hard being a mere human being, trying to trust Him when you don't see the whole picture. I understand that's what the tests of life is for, and also understand that if He doesn't care or deem good for a person, He will not try them so severly. Last week was another one of those tests, I almost lost my storage which included very personal and important items, many of my books and videos among other things that I accumulated over 8 years.

The outcome was good, and I feel like my trust in God has grown, but I'm growing more tired of having to explain myself to people who don't see these things as tests and trials from God, but rather shortcomings or failures of my own. People ask why have I become somewhat of a recluse in the past few years. In reality I am not a recluse, just a man who is tired of being around people who don't seem to take things in a serious manner or who look at things from a superficial point of view.

I know of people who are unemployed for the same amount of time I've been, or even longer, yet in their conversations they don't seem to mention anyone doubting their intentions or integrity, so why should I be different? Why should I be looked upon as some deceitful, light-headed, non-serious guy with a dream simply because I'm looking within myself to advance myself instead of ever-chasing a permanently temporary job, and why am I being blasted for defending myself, my sanity and my integrity, as if to say these things are not important anymore? When did money replace integrity, decency, honor, and respect?

So I continue to travel lightly. One day, God Willing, it will all make sense.



Take care all...